13 Jul Tackling summer challenges
Summer. A promise of rest, warmth, and fun times outside.
However, if you have a dog with separation anxiety, summer can also awaken concerns about training consistency, the ability to manage absences so you can go and enjoy the things you were looking forward to, the guilt that comes from leaving your dog behind to do something you enjoy while their conditions aren’t perfect, and the resentment you may feel when canceling plans because your dog can’t be left alone.
If you are a dog professional helping an SA family, these challenges can add to your worries about how to set guardians up for success, as well as to compassion fatigue when you feel that what you are doing isn’t enough.
Challenges that can take center stage during the summer months include:
- Less training consistency due to vacations, more time off, and difficulty getting back into a training routine
- Dogs responding worse to training due to a lack of consistency
- Stagnant progress due to having to lower criteria each time training is resumed in order to set them up for success
- Multiple routine and environmental changes due to traveling, changes in activity levels, visitors, and time off work
- Increased exposure to sounds that can add to stress levels when dogs are noise-sensitive (thunderstorms, fireworks, open windows, increased activity outside, unfamiliar noises while traveling)
Even though these challenges can set us back, there is a bright side. We can see them as an opportunity to normalize certain changes in routine, add flexibility, build habits that support us during more challenging times, and learn to prioritize consistency over perfection.
Separation anxiety training is a marathon, not a sprint. Finding a rhythm that can be maintained long-term, through both easy and difficult times—one that isn’t perfect but is sustainable—will help us reach our goals.
CRUISING THROUGH SUMMER LIKE A PRO
If you live in a place where summers are short and intense, when they finally arrive there is this sense of urgency that seems to invade everyone. We need to enjoy it! It’s short! It will be over before we know it! And there is so much to do. How can we fit it all in? We’re running out of time. This is so overwhelming! It’s like our brains shut down and we feel like we can’t think about anything else because it’s summer! If we miss it, we’ll regret it.
Unfortunately, even though our hearts are in the right place and enjoying summer is definitely important (I know it’s important to me), the stress that “having to enjoy it” places on us can end up making us bitter, creating the exact opposite effect of what it was meant to achieve.
Whether you are a trainer supporting a dog with separation anxiety or a dog guardian living with one, my best advice for preventing overwhelm is to unpack the big tangle of feelings you’re experiencing and then address one string at a time.
Although creating, curating, and implementing this list will ultimately be the guardian’s job, understanding it and the resources that can be used as solutions for each challenge, as well as providing support as they work through it, will make a difference. Not only will they feel supported and less alone, but they will also have an extra pair of eyes to look at things from a more objective—and hopefully more optimistic—perspective than the one you naturally have when you are immersed in the problem, when it’s personal.
Start with a List
Make a list of everything you would like to do and/or accomplish this summer. This should include self-care time, summer activities, work, your dog’s training—everything.
Once your list is ready, take a closer look at it and rearrange it from your highest to your lowest priority. After that, if it has become way too big and maybe even a bit unrealistic (I’m forever guilty of thinking I can do more than time allows), clean it up by removing a few of the lowest-priority items. As you read through your list, you may realize that there are things you don’t really want or need in your life, and others that can be pushed to later in the year so you can focus on what really matters during this season.
After your list has been curated, focus on each item separately, analyzing how you can find coverage and/or arrange the timing so it can happen. Maybe you can slightly change the original idea into one that still works and makes you happy. For some items, you will be able to find a complete solution. For others, the goal will be to meet in the middle so you can still feel happy and satisfied while keeping your dog safe.
Let’s go through some of the common items that might be on this list and explore ideas for making them happen successfully.
Making Vacation Possible
Instead of looking forward to vacation, we start getting nervous months in advance, and everything surrounding the trip ends up becoming stressful, which is the exact opposite of the reason we wanted to go away in the first place!
When you have a dog with separation anxiety, planning ahead is not only necessary, but it can also relieve some of the stress that trips naturally bring.
When it comes to traveling, there are really only two feasible options: bring our dog with us or have someone (a pet sitter, daycare, or boarding facility) take care of them while we are away. Although bringing our dog with us comes with its own set of restrictions, it can also be a lot of fun! Yes, finding pet-friendly accommodations can be more challenging, but over time it has become much easier to find places that welcome dogs. Camping (if that’s your thing) can also be a great option. The activities you do during your trip will have to be adapted to include your dog, but what is summer if not an opportunity to spend more time outside? Sometimes bringing our dogs along on our outings can be a blessing in disguise. They teach us to be present, enjoy nature, slow down, stay grounded, be active, and appreciate the simple things in life. Sometimes, they end up showing us a version of summer we might have overlooked otherwise.
If you are planning a trip where your dog can’t come with you, someone will need to care for them while you’re away. That care can happen in your home, someone else’s home, or at a boarding facility. The challenge comes with asking that your dog not be left alone. That’s a big ask, and it will immediately narrow your options. However, it is possible! And the bottom line is that it doesn’t have to be perfect.
By that, I’m not suggesting that your pet sitter or boarding facility should simply leave your dog alone. What I mean is that there is only so much you can control. You can do your research when choosing the best option, explain your dog’s situation, make an agreement, trust that they will follow through, and then let go of the rest. What happens when you’re not there is beyond your control.
If someone leaves your dog alone briefly to take the trash out because, in their mind, that doesn’t count as leaving them alone, and your dog stays alert but doesn’t panic, that’s okay. Give yourself permission to let go of perfection because that’s part of the healing process too.
If you already know about certain situations that are likely to happen while you’re away (for example, all dogs sleep in crates without a person in the room at night; absences will be suspended except for 30 minutes a day when your dog will be alone but in the company of their best dog pals; or your dog will be left briefly in the living room while the caregiver welcomes newly arriving dogs), ask whether it’s possible to test those situations in advance.
Using a camera to record these events and seeing how your dog responds can tell you a lot about their ability to tolerate them. You can also track whether these experiences affect your dog’s training missions once you’re back home by monitoring your training data. You might be surprised! And a known problem is always less scary than an unknown one.
Finding Your Summer Rhythm
Summer arrives with the hope of spending more time outside, along with more activities and social engagements. Trying to do it all and fit everything in can be quite stressful, and we can end up doing everything halfway.
Taking more days off from training each week is acceptable. Ideally, we want to fit in five to six training missions a week to provide continuity. However, burning out won’t get us there faster, and overdoing it on a few days to make up for the lost ones won’t fix it. Instead, it can make things worse.
Consistency is our best friend, and it can look different depending on our current capabilities. Temporarily training three to four days a week instead of only taking one to two days off, as you might do during the rest of the year, can make a big difference in your schedule. Most importantly, it will allow you to stay consistent. You will commit to less, and that will make it easier to follow through. In return, your dog will continue practicing consistently, which is what creates real progress.
If we go to the gym once a month and push ourselves until we are exhausted on that one day, we won’t get anywhere. If, instead, we go twice a week consistently for one year, we will achieve much more.
If the number of training days isn’t the issue, but rather the amount of time each daily training session takes, rearranging things so they can be shorter and sweeter can be helpful. This will look different depending on the stage of training you are in.
If you are still in the early stages, slightly reducing the number of steps and shortening the breaks can help you move through missions a bit faster without compromising quality or putting additional pressure on your dog. In some cases, you might even discover that shorter sessions work better for them!
If you are in later stages of the journey, you can use your longer absences to go out and do real-life activities—maybe even some of the ones you added to your summer to-do list! But not every training session has to be long if that is what is limiting your availability.
Creating a schedule together with your trainer—one where you both know how many longer training sessions you will do each week, which days work best for those sessions, and which days will be shorter—can help you plan and make better use of the process.
Of course, dogs lead the way, and we may have to adjust plans if they don’t respond well to these changes, but it is worth trying! In many cases, it’s possible to make it work for everyone involved, including the dog.
The bottom line is to make training missions feel less like a huge endeavor and help them become a habit—an implied daily chore that happens almost automatically and without requiring too much effort from our part.
Summer Activities
Some activities won’t include your dog and will require you to find help of the kind mentioned above. My advice is: don’t avoid them. If those activities fill your cup, find ways to make them happen regularly. Don’t postpone them. They will provide you with the strength you need to continue helping your dog. Taking care of yourself before helping others is the recipe for long-term success.
Still, finding a balance between activities that don’t include your dog and outings where they can be involved is a great way to reduce the tension around summer while further deepening the bond with your dog. In many separation anxiety cases, healing the relationship is part of the process, and doing fun things with them can help with that.
And there are so many fun things you can do with your dog in the summer! Making a list of activities (“list” lover over here, as you have probably already guessed) that you can do with and without your dog can spark your creativity and help you think outside the box. You may even find a new hobby or passion you didn’t know you had!
Doing things together will also encourage you to spend more time outside and be more like a dog. Sunset walks, sunrise walks at the beach, water activities if you live near a body of water, joining community walks or dog activities if your dog enjoys being around other people and dogs, hiking, sitting at the park to read, visiting local pet-friendly coffee shops—the list goes on.
Planning ahead and making both dog and no-dog activities part of your weekly routine may sound less spontaneous. However, it will help you stick to them, which you will thank yourself for later. The repetition will also help your dog normalize this new routine, making it easier for them to adapt to the changes.
Sound Exposure
Sounds are summer’s unwelcome guest. Inevitably, more outside activity will lead to more noise. Depending on where you live, summer can also bring thunderstorms and fireworks. And if your windows are open more often during this season, sounds will be amplified, which can turn into an extra challenge if your dog is noise-sensitive.
Unfortunately, this is one of the aspects where you may have to compromise. The win will be helping your dog feel safe and supported. Training missions or alone-time training on days when your dog is exposed to sounds will likely not go well, and oftentimes the best decision is to take the day (or days) off. You may also have to lower your training criteria during this period and until the sounds die down and your dog returns to their baseline.
Although this may affect your short-term progress, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your overall progress will be delayed. Temporary setbacks aren’t necessarily representative of how slow or fast progress will be once you resume training.
When it comes to sounds, even if you have reached your absence training goals, you may still want to suspend absences when there is noise exposure. Being afraid while alone can be extremely detrimental to your dog’s well-being and can certainly trigger a regression.
As far as management goes, arranging the environment in a way that helps your dog feel as comfortable as possible can lessen their struggles, as can supporting them with medication, even if only situationally when those moments arise. Air conditioning, fans, music or TV, closed blinds (to prevent them from seeing fireworks or the flashes from thunderstorms), and cuddling with them (if they consent to it and if it helps them) can all be useful tools to add to your setup.
Determining how long your dog’s recovery period is before they can successfully return to alone training will also help you set them up for success.
The Power of Taking Two Steps Back
All of these changes will likely increase the amount of time you take off from training during the summer. That means that when you do resume, your training criteria, at least initially, will have to be lower than where you left off. That can feel like a big weight on our motivation and can make us dread the beginning of fall.
My advice is: don’t use absence duration as the parameter by which you measure your dog’s success. Learning brews in the dark. It’s the process through which your dog learns to face being alone and self-regulate that will ultimately take you to the finish line.
That process doesn’t always show up in numbers. Numbers will come later, but the learning experience might look different for each individual, and safe exposure is never lost. The memories are piled into their personal encyclopedia of experiences, and over time, as more knowledge is accumulated, it becomes easier for the dog to access it and use it to successfully face alone time.
Think about it like going back to running after being injured or taking a break. You may not be able to start by running a full marathon, and you may begin much slower than you once did. But if your body learned how to run once, the foundation will still be there somewhere, and after practicing for some time, it will remember how to access it.
Most importantly, slowing down temporarily doesn’t mean that the whole race will be slower. Dips in your training, when done strategically, can actually build endurance.
Making Change the New Normal
We know that SA dogs often struggle with change. And that’s exactly what spring, summer, and fall bring: change. Although these changes may trigger regressions and setbacks, it is also true that normalizing certain changes by making them repetitive can help integrate them into your life’s routine, decreasing the likelihood of them triggering future regressions.
In simple terms, the more times your dog is exposed to summer routine changes and the more predictable those changes become, the softer the dips will be. These repetitive seasonal changes will eventually become the new normal.
However, situational or long-term medication support can be helpful for dogs who struggle with routine changes.
Finally, perfection isn’t the goal. It’s okay to have days when you don’t want to do it, when you need a break, or when things simply feel harder. Forgive yourself for those days, take a moment to breathe and recover, and be open about it with your trainer. A non-judgmental, understanding trainer will hold space for those moments too.
The key is not letting those days dictate who you want to be the rest of the time. Instead, use them as “recovery days” that, rather than dragging you toward giving up, recharge you and help you build the fortitude and perseverance required to keep moving forward.